Updating my blog after such a long long time..Have got lots to say....Lot of things happened..few I can mention...Few will remain forever with me in the graveyard...
I have named by blog aptly...I believe..The days when heart gets separated from body...The pain....Its really worth experiencing....Thanks for the girl who made me witness this pain in this lifetime...
haah one of my creation:
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Maradha tumbella Hasiru haradi , preethiya tangaali yelli haayagi iruvanthe...Besigeya bisi bisi bege preethiyannu sudalendhe jhalisidhaaga....Iniyanadha maravu shakti kaledhukondeethendhu eleyu thanna iniyanige praana samarpisi...Thannanne apriskondithu....Nelakke biddha eleyu thaanu kshitisi mannali berethu sathvavaagi..Mathe maravanne seri...Preethiya chaitanyavaagi maradalli mathe haridhu...Olavina vasantha moodisidhe......Antheye naa yene aadharu, enthe iddharu nanneee usiru olavu ella ninage samarpitha....yaava roopadalladharu nannee hrudaya ninanne bayassuthadhe...ninagaage badiyuthadhe...Ninnee preethiyalli naa madidhu mannannu seridharu , hoovaagi arali ninna mudiyannu seruva hambala...illave nee nadiva haadhiyalli hullaagi ninna paadha dadiyelli ninage novagadanthe kaapaduva hambala...Nannee preethiyu nishkalanka..nirmala..
Today I want to explain few things about love and how girl reacts in two cases.
First case:
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First day we see each other...we greet each other with a smile...Hi.my name is blah blah..girls says sweetly but a bit seriously..hi I am blah blah....thats it...that day boy cannot do anything..wanting for more..wanting to get into the belly of conversation..the boy will be dying..,For Girl, yes a new follower is added to my ever growing list..I am the supreme..I am the soooooper cool girl...with her linked list of boys without terminated by NULL...In one interview someone asked me..can you give me a linked list example with out a NULL at the end..my answer was the same...for which I was not selected in the interview..:)...So next day..the girl is getting bored on her way to office or at office...a mail comes...Hi....Boy is gone..boy is floored...with all the hopes put onto a lamp like the olympics one..he ignites his love story...The olympics starts here....The race between life and death..the race where there are competitors , spectators, critics..and the trophy itself(the girl)......Boy replies back with all the respect..Hi, have u watched movie Mungaaru male..I love all the songs in it..especially...the title track ..Mungaaru male...Oh my god allwa ree...Girls reply within milliseconds..Yes ree..its an awesome song...Do you have lyrics for that?? Boy without realising his life is going to be like that one day..sends the lyrics and discuss how painful that song is and all...story continues..next day while replying to the 100th mail in that mail chain..can I have your mobile number will be saddist guys question? for which girl already would have stored a reply in draft..yes take it..its 99********...Boy joins gym..starts pumping up his muscles...Start buying new clothes...to impress...even girl would be doing the same on the other end..buying some good stuffs to show off to that guy...The sad story starts....chain khoya..neendh khoya...and khoya khoya...So he stops eating...he stops sleeping..he cant do anything..While riding bike he would be missing the text messages which will be vibrating with all the force inside his pant...Reminding him of the girls face projected on to the helmet screen..He stops somewhere..replies to one of them..Miss you karke, want to see you and all...The whole life becomes a concentration camp..where he is dying to get something..which he should not get...He keeps on messaging..Girl sends her first snap to his personal mail Id..Boy in office uses windows minimise and maximise functionalities to the maximum..And see it so frequently...Like some cat..drinking milk...turning around..slurp..drink again...thats it.he assumes all the love of her is for him...Then the same night girl sends some of her favorite songs..the lyrics would say...everything is addressed to that boy..Boy is out of control now....he types messages more aggressively..as if time is limited and he has to tell so many things in a day...Girl receives messages..Only to add this boy to the already existing list...but girl is so intelligent she never stores any message...all the time sms count will be 1..that is "Sree Raghavendraya namaha"....This guy so innocently keeps on flooding the messages..beg friends for some senti messages...send them to touch her soul.....search internet for some messages which should reveal love but should not be I love you types....Send them...one by one...Boys are careless about their phones keypad isn't it?? For all these messages, girls reply would be a hmmmmm :).....Boy keeps on pumping the messages on to the GSM spectrum...like some mad dog has bitten him just before the monsoon....seeing her snap....pumping messages...waiting for her to go in bus...no food..no fun..joy is gone..completely taken away from her...Finally in office, bed, bike, road, market, theater, train..everywhere he is connected...Girl also slowly starts talking to him...daily..over phone..I dont know why..I found you cute of all...I miss you so much..I cant eat also....Even we spend so much time together..I cant live without you...I miss you..I will be waiting for morning to happen...And sends a second set of snaps..with subject like..Dont laugh I am not beautiful...See this one..See me wearing scarf..see me wearing chaddi..see me in ooty..see my sister..see my brother..See me and my friends in hotel..blah blah..!!! An innocent mind is completely captivated..and lured for this treasure....Then suddenly one day in bus, she touches him..sleeps on his shoulders...and I dont want to get into more details..They share everything..Boy gets madder day by day..one day all of a sudden..he sends Ilike you message..Girl also responds..Liek you too...Boy never understands this message..it means I am already liking other guy..besides I like you tooooooo...Guy thinks in a straight way....and after many months..sends Love you lots message..Girl sends love you too.....Then the messages will be full of words like Dear, sweetheart, love, like, hugs, kisses, mmmmmmmmmm etc........This continues until girl becomes serious about her marriage...this guy is being addicted...he announces to every one of his friend..i have my girl now..She messages me..she misses me..I dont think she can live without me..He slowly announces this to his family also...This guy is being drugged...more serious than cocaine or marijuana....more serious cases..because its about heart, soul and brain..
Now the girl becomes serious...No reply...No calls..No SMS.....please pa...leave me alone...But the guy keeps on troubling her...Who is faulty in this??????? guy or Girl..........once this phase comes when girl seriously thinks she was loving only her boyfriend with whom she has to get married and tries to get rid of all these boys.........The second case starts...
Second case:
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Now the second case is more painful and not at all rosy as first case...Some sample shayaris to explain things...
khushi mili to has na sake,
gham mile to rona sake,
zndgi ka yahi dastur hai,
jise chahe use pa na sake,
jise paya use chah na sake...
Waqt guzarta raha par saansein thami thi,
muskura rahe the hum par aankhon mein nami thi,
saath humare ye jahan tha,
par na jaane kyun aapki kami thi.
hasarat hai to sirf usse paane ki,
aur koi khwasish nahi iss deewane ki,
shikwa muje usse nahi khuda se hai,
kya zarurat this mujhe usse milane ki
Mana teri nazar mein tera pyaar hum nahi,kaise kahen ki tere talabgaar hum nahi,
Khud ko jala ke khak kar dala, mita diya,lo ab tumhari raah mein dewaar hum nahi,Jis ko sanwara humne tamannaon ke khoon
se,gulshan mein us bahar ke haqdaar hum nahi, Dhokha diya hai khud ko muhobbat ke naam se,kaise kahen ki tere gunahgaar
hum nahi.....
Now boy sends 100 messages daily as usual..tries to plead her...asks her hey I am feeling very lonely now..why no message...hello ??...he tells I am dying here..The trauma the boy will be going through..like a drug addict have been denied of drugs..Boy cannot eat.he laughs with so much load on his lips..hHe ..i dont know what will that girl do with the messages..I have not seen or understood this second case very clearly...
yet to continue the stuffs of these painful days.....May be tomorrow...Second part is so exciting for the reader..keep peeing here...for more updates.
Beware before giving your heart to anyone......
Love,
Shashank
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Hoping to live..Living on the hope...
First of all the karma thing is...Life is so depressing...I thought I will go in the rain...Like Ganesh in Mungaru male..Cry out...Feel lighter...Wash out my sins..Dilute the tears...God is so upset with me...Even it has stopped raining...No Monsoon this year...My mind is just like the sewage water.....So black..So stinky....So horrible....Just not able to write anything...its dirty..Like some oil sling on to the ocean water..
But I did not missed it out..When I went for a long drive with my friend on the sagar road from Shimoga...it was just so awesome...I had never seen a rain like that recently....Lush green..Cold breeze..scorpio blazing through that...Light music...It was so good..Only thing is I could not cry....
A human being with these many tensions should survive or not...education loan to be paid for 6 months, income tax to be filed, vehicle insurance pending, Dad not feeling well, sisters surgery in Bangalore, Go to office at 7:30 AM and come back at 11:30 PM...House construction, arrange everything for that from bricks to wood to stone, heart break, Love failure, Depression, a news that the girl who dumped me in my life 3 years ago delivered a baby boy.....someone elses marriage.my tears...two personal loans to be cleared..house loan not getting approved...Searching for political influence, going from this bank to that bank...like a beggar....No breakfast...no dinner sometimes..pressure on project....additional pressure that I am a contractor here in Infineon....Going to office on my bike..pulling the accelerator for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the night...In all these, see girls photos my parents would send...decide on my life partner....when I dont know what my life is going to be tomorrow....Phew!!! These are only few....
I would have run away from this life...I thought all day ..all night..........
I remember one dialogue from jab we met...isse bhura aur kuch nahi ho saktha?? from now on if something can happen..it would be good...trying to be positive......Will tell you all when all these problems are solved...and I return back to peace...A world when I get up in the morning.....and try to live..........Hoping that would come fast...
As usual some scribbling....
Sometimes I wish I could just fade away
and forever leave this earth
I shed my tears as the day goes by
and in the night
only stars hear my cries
swiftly down my cheeks
my tears turn to blood
I cough and laugh and scream and cry
hoping my tears will go dry.
This pain I feel
it's in my chest and never goes away
I wait all night and through the day
but never does it fade.
I look into the mirror...
and wonder "Who am I?"
Am I the brave warrior they say I am
or should I go on and cry?
I put my hand onto my chest..
and I don't feel a thing
I think my heart skipped a beat
it doesn't dance or sing....
I take the phone from my side...
and throw it far away
I don't want to see your snap in that or ur old messages..
when you're not here day by day.
All I want is to hear that voice,
the one that keeps me calm,
the one that whispers softly
"I love you and stay strong...."
On these days of pain and loneliness, days of madness, days of sadness, my mind goes back
to one of those evening in which, under the infinite sky, I held you in my arms. Those thoughts give me hope and strength on these days of sorrow....I live to see it one day......
Love,
Shashank
But I did not missed it out..When I went for a long drive with my friend on the sagar road from Shimoga...it was just so awesome...I had never seen a rain like that recently....Lush green..Cold breeze..scorpio blazing through that...Light music...It was so good..Only thing is I could not cry....
A human being with these many tensions should survive or not...education loan to be paid for 6 months, income tax to be filed, vehicle insurance pending, Dad not feeling well, sisters surgery in Bangalore, Go to office at 7:30 AM and come back at 11:30 PM...House construction, arrange everything for that from bricks to wood to stone, heart break, Love failure, Depression, a news that the girl who dumped me in my life 3 years ago delivered a baby boy.....someone elses marriage.my tears...two personal loans to be cleared..house loan not getting approved...Searching for political influence, going from this bank to that bank...like a beggar....No breakfast...no dinner sometimes..pressure on project....additional pressure that I am a contractor here in Infineon....Going to office on my bike..pulling the accelerator for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the night...In all these, see girls photos my parents would send...decide on my life partner....when I dont know what my life is going to be tomorrow....Phew!!! These are only few....
I would have run away from this life...I thought all day ..all night..........
I remember one dialogue from jab we met...isse bhura aur kuch nahi ho saktha?? from now on if something can happen..it would be good...trying to be positive......Will tell you all when all these problems are solved...and I return back to peace...A world when I get up in the morning.....and try to live..........Hoping that would come fast...
As usual some scribbling....
Sometimes I wish I could just fade away
and forever leave this earth
I shed my tears as the day goes by
and in the night
only stars hear my cries
swiftly down my cheeks
my tears turn to blood
I cough and laugh and scream and cry
hoping my tears will go dry.
This pain I feel
it's in my chest and never goes away
I wait all night and through the day
but never does it fade.
I look into the mirror...
and wonder "Who am I?"
Am I the brave warrior they say I am
or should I go on and cry?
I put my hand onto my chest..
and I don't feel a thing
I think my heart skipped a beat
it doesn't dance or sing....
I take the phone from my side...
and throw it far away
I don't want to see your snap in that or ur old messages..
when you're not here day by day.
All I want is to hear that voice,
the one that keeps me calm,
the one that whispers softly
"I love you and stay strong...."
On these days of pain and loneliness, days of madness, days of sadness, my mind goes back
to one of those evening in which, under the infinite sky, I held you in my arms. Those thoughts give me hope and strength on these days of sorrow....I live to see it one day......
Love,
Shashank
Thursday, June 25, 2009
My journey from NuremBerg to begaluru...
Hi,
Updating my blog in India..Bengaluru...So excited...Sitting in the 13th floor of Discoverer...what an achievement??
I should explain my air travel funda....I was so excited on the previous eve of my departure....The Wednesday 10th of June...It was raining heavily..It was as if the whole NurenBerg is bidding me alvida....Nurenberg is crying...as if it would miss me there...Sky had drawn raibows to bid me bye...trees singing song...River just to still and stagnant....As if it had stopped flowing to see me for the last time...I had hell lot of work..Was trying to finish early so that I have ample time to shop on the previous eve..Chocolates and stuffs like that...But I could not finish it....Phew..Ran to a chocolate shop and bought some 100 Euros chocolate and came back to room....The wave of excitement was pushed back by this work pressure....It vanished...I was continuously thinking about the project delivery on Monday....My mind was flooded with those thoughts....It was my first delivery and a major project checkpoint...I came back to room..WIth the help of Nagaraju and Rajkumar filled all the stuffs into my suitcase and a baggage...We literally struggled to stuff in everything...After all the packing..tried to lift the suitcase...I thought it was 28 Kgs..and the other bag 8 kgs max....Suspense starts now....the beginning of a horrible journey....We cooked aloo sambaar which was so horrible...But I just gulped some rice with it..All excited for the next days plane journey...Butterflies in my stomach...Swalpa excited..Swalpa mad.....phew!! Dozed off...Morning woke up at 6..Thursday 11th March...The D day....Plane was scheduled at 10 AM from NurenBerg ro Frankfurt and 12 PM from Frankfurt to Bengaluru....
We are all emotional fools isn't it?? All the time I was cursing my stay in Room no 361...in the Hotel Maximilian...Now all of a sudden I was so emotional about that room.The bathroom where I bathe..The Kitchen still carrying the marks of my ultimate cooking...The glasses...The plates..The TV..The Bed on which my countless tears have flown and the bed had absorbed all of them...Not to show them to me in the morning...Like some friend....The lamp under which I had written so many poems....Everything...It was painful suddenly to leave that place....The Room no 361..I thanked it for everything it gave me...FOr being with me in my lonely times..My eyes were a bit wet...WIth all these things the other part of my mind was bloody so excited....It was telling..Run Shashank Run..You are going to Bangalore.....I called every concerned people in my life with two calling cards and was excitedly shouting I am coming.I am coming..And finally left the room....Dragged the heaviest suitcase and a huge bag...a bag on my back and a laptop bag hanging loosely from my shoulders...It was drizzling a bit which is quite normal..I checked out from the hotel...And I was out...Out of all the janjat...Took a taxi to flugaphen(Airport)....Reached airport at around 8:30 AM...Came to check in point....Put my suitcase and the other check in trolley baggage on to the weighing machine....Unbelievably...it was 33 Lg + 15 Kg..Allowed is 20 Kg and 8 Kg Cabbin baggage..what next?? I was so petrified..So worried...a little tensed....I cant leave this things here and go..She said allowed is 20 Kgs..yours is 45 Kgs..So please pay 30 euros per kg as extra or leave the luggage here..I took 10 mins time to think....And I did not had money also....Just was so deserted at the airport...Finally made up my mind..I said I cant pay...500 Euros for this luggage..I am going back..Cancel my tickets....but she insisted if u come tomorrow also this problem would be there..And I told here I was coming for the first time.and had bought so many gifts to my family members..Thats the reason its so heavy..Please help..She was kind..She checked in my baggage only for 200 Euros...I was so grateful to her..And the luggage janjat was over.....So I came to the lounge and was waiting only to see the sky turning into ferociously black color...ANd all the planes halted for 30 mins...Shit!! I had a connecting flight from Frankfurt at 12 PM...If I am delayed..I would miss it..I was so worried...The attender there said they have informed the flight in Frankfurt and they woould wait for me..Finally I was coming back to Bangalore..The flight started...rolling on its tiny wheels...splashing the water on the run way....Engine ignited...Leaving out the trails of mirage on the air.....I was so happy..excited....phewwwwwwwww!! It was on air....flying slower than my heart pace.....My heart was beating faster than the engine piston...hmmm...With all the excitement I landed in Frankfurt at 11:50..and the flight to bangalore was scheduled be depart at 12...I was a terminal c..I had to run from A to c which was like running from Hebbal flyover to Vidhana Soudha..and in 10 mins..Still I ran like mad...Like kajol in DDLJ..all the time removing my clothes in advance for the security check..jumped.Hopped ...reached at 12 sharp....with a big question mark on my face....My face revealed it all...The flight attendant said....Sorry..u missed the flight..We announced ur name twice...SOrry...Thats it..My face was a rotten apple laid in a cow dung...I asked her what next??? the moment I completed this sentence...two other guys..one from Nokia..Hemang and other from Shobha Renaissance...came with their heart pumping to its maximum..Bang...a..lore...12..o;....phew...clock..flight...what??? she said u missed it sir...we all ran to an alternative ticket counter...where we all got a ticket to Dubai (Emirates) at 3:45 PM and from Dubai to Bengaluru at 4:45 AM (Dubai time)....shit....10 hours delayed....I was so sad ...We all went to a beer bar..and those guys started boozing.with noodles falling on one guys shirt..and some guy was telling the same story again...So in between drunkards..i was almost like a drunkard...with my body swaying...my mind not all happy...We were chatting there till 2:40...and the lasst check in time is 3 o clock for Emirates..This is called over acting...And we had to run again 5 Kms in 10 mins....We all were running like mad dogs....finally to reach terminal B..exactly on time..we being the last passengers....with a sigh of relief..I sat in 44G....after a minute..turned to my left to find a super model....Yes she was a super model...sooooooooooper looks and Dubai girl...In Emirates each seat would have a TV screen...And there will be 100 movies..1000 songs and latest hits..It was too good...all my worries were gone...I was thinking which and all movies I need to watch...With a list on my mind..Started watching Dostana...THough I was a bit embarassed to watch that movie in front of her...She was smiling at me...And my usual smile mixed with a tinge of shyness...Then I watched Billu(No Barber).....Then Valkyrie...(due to extreme interest in Hitler and Nazis these days)....And I did not even had a nap...She slept off for sometime...But she looked like some big time model..because all the air hostess...and a manager there..everyone were coming and asking her if she wants something..If she is feeling ok and all....one poor creature was sitting next to her and watching all these with its innocent face...its me...hee hee :)....So finally she decided to talk to me.....She said I cannot watch Dostana now..I always wanted to..Can you please tell me the entire story??...I was like..haah!! Dont mind when I use words like gay and all...she said its completely ok....you go ahead..And story telling..No one can beat me...I explained her bit by bit...SHe said..You tell in so much detail...amazingly..!! and all..with all the compliments..This time I knew when a girl praises someone she wants some favor...next the captains announcement..The flight is scheduled to land in Dubai in another 30 mins..Thats it...She took her ear rings...handed them to me..with a precaution, handle them carefully haah!!!....I just nodded like a kid...might be she was having fun...So many people played with my kid like nature.....and exploited it..............Then she took out her make up kit...all I could hear was phussssssssssssssssssssssss phussssssssssss sound of the spray....aroma of the perfumes...and her hair...Lip gloss smell....and foundation ..different colors..brick color, cream color..red color..pink color..that this...5 mins..She asked me her ear rings back..I turned left...To see..to see an angel kind of girl ..she was looking gorgeous...superb!!....Now I believe if someone uses makeup to enhance their beauty..its good....
Next stop..Dubai...We all got down in Dubai..She bid bye to me..and she was busy on call...She went off...I got down from plane to find the temperature to be 39 degrees....Where the Europes cool 4 -5 degrees and Dubais 39 degrees..Body was just feeling uneasy...discomfort...disarrayed...Went inside airport..DUbai Aiport the sick place on earth..where you can find more Indians than anywhere else..Every 3rd person is an Indian there...Tamil, Malayalam, Hindi...I could hear for them for the first time....crazy people with lungi..buying gifts in all the duty free shops..flooded with people..Like Big bazaar on a saturday evening...crazzy place..I had 8 hours of time in DUbai..I just slept somewhere on some chair..I was not getting sleep also....roamed around...but i was so restless.....From Dubai to Bangalore..it was such a horrible thing..Plane was full....I was last person in the last seat...near to kitchen...Hee hee :)..Again the movies...So was busy watching movies again...I was so happy once I was into Indian Ocean....phew!! If I die now..I will atleast die in Indian ocean...phew!!...Then had my breakfast ....was so eager..Plane was scheduled to arrive here at 9 AM.....Time was 8:30...Zoomed the TV camera in front of my screen to see the land below....In Emirates we have an option to watch the camera which is fixed onto the front and top of the plane..So was seeing bangalore through it..in the TV screen...The same dry dry land...patches of green....9 o lcok...tannnn!!! I was so excited...But bad luck again..The captain announces..." A bird is dead on the run way...we are landing in some time once we get green signal....Please relax..We have enough fuel on board..."..I was about to jump off...If i had a parachute..patience was running out..Finally without any announcement..I could see I am nearing land in the TV screen and it touched the Run way..dhadammm.....Over I am n Bangalore boss...I am here....I took my luggage...and came to a counter where there was a check for Swine flu.....From there..I came to luggage counter...where all suitcases were coming..But not my luggage..I waited..waited..the last bag was mine....Crack thing...SHit! i was so tensed...I had paid 250 Euros for my luggage....Finally I bid bye to Nokia manager and the one in Shobha Renaissance....and came out ..Just to find the temperature as hot as oven..and erratic traffic...noisy world...sweat..dust...people shouting..Brain took 1 hour to get adjusted..The ear drums strained to take this sound...Then I found one Meru Taxi wala..Finally I was heading home..WIth half sleepy..with mixed emotions....In these 3 months I had lost someone....Dont take the meaning dead...Someone close to me had moved out of my life...So I was recollecting all the good memories..and with so many things running in my mind....I was listening to drivers story..He was telling about him..When he came to bangalore 30 years back and all...But for me..It was just a hummmmm....Reached my room..kept all the luggages..just when I sighed..phew...A call from my manager..Urgent come to offfice..i took bath..and immediately set off to office in BMTC....wowo what a comeback???? Shit!!! From that day till date I have hardly been in house...Stupid life....I feel like I should go backto Shimoga as a lecturer and lead a calm life....I am so stressed out..I wanted to see my mother so badly..my dad....I am not able to go even to my home town...Finally leaving this weekend....I have been spending all my weekends at this sick place called ITPL....I hate this place...And commuting on a bike ..morning 2 hours in hot sun and evening 2 hours back home..I am so fed up with everything........Mad world......
Nothing is going right in my life....Everything is so scary for me....The whole world...the people....my very existence........All of a sudden I am feeling left out..i am feeling very lonely...Not even a single message on my phone...Luckily I have few friends who call me ..Else i would have died by now....
Still a lot more to update and a kavana....Keep watching this space...:)
And the thing which I wanted to take decision once I come back here...it was self-decisive and the it was not at all my decision..It was decisions decision....So the result is known now...
you were the sunshine of my day
You were the stars at night
you were the person I loved
until you drifted away
and broke my heart
So when I think of you now
you're the darkness at night
and rain in the day.
Love,
Shashank
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The week that was not pleasant...
Hi,
I want to start With an update on the trip to Garmische trip. When we were in the peak for the first time, we met one American couple..who were pretty old...Around 60 Years....But they were so young at heart..It was one of the nice conversation I had recently with a people of different nationality. They were from Michigan..The Lake Michigan..They had come to Europe by flight and from there they had rented a car. Just by operating on GPS and the paper maps they wanted to cover entire Europe within 15 days...They were on a holiday for 15 days..Phew!! I was just awed by the energy they had...At their age, we would be not able to tour even our house...from bathroom to bedroom...:).....And how close they were....pulling each others legs in their conversation and laughing out loudly...Livng their life to the fullest....We all happened to meet there at the hill top with thick fog covered...With each others face barely visible....We all came down and introduced ourselves...Uncle was with one university from past 32 years ..(like college principal) teaching students until high school...Aunty was also with the same institution...Knowing we are Indians..He said he has the highest respect for Indians...The way we work..The hunger we have in ourselves to excel....He said in his university, all the bright students are Indians..and he feels the younger America is not fit for anything...they want to enjoy life....They take life so easy...All they want is a sagging jeans and a t-shirt and roam around in their car...I felt very proud..I just spoke about how Americans live in big big Villas even though they will be alone...how they waste food by dumping them in the huge huge refrigerators....how different it is in India and how conservative we are when it comes to expenses..The middle class attitude towards life...saving for tomorrow...anticipating something bad....They found that topic so relevant...and aunty was laughing they were also staying in some huge villa...on a lake side...where they can boat to lake Michigan from that small lake....We talked about all the places in Europe..It was a nice, warm chat for half an hour..And we all took the cable car down to Eibsee together.....They have so many places to visit..13 days more to go...they walked away holding each others hand....bidding bye to us..I just see them awed from far till they are gone out of sight...I was awed only for the love they had for each other....These days(the mobile zamaana), a person gets tired of loving a person for 2 years....They start telling, we have grown up..I dont see you the same way you were....realtions have changed..we have reached a new level .....blah blah!! For I believe love should spread on to ages....each day it should get intense...each day love should be loved in a different way.....not the days..not the distance should ruin the very word love....else its not love...its just a compromise.....a compromise to lust....Relationships take years to build and nurture and understand.Even the slightest deviation in the conduct as a code for the people concerned, results in grievous harm to it . No two people were the same or otherwise are the same, once they step into a similar brain. The practicality of all this may not be too appealing to all sections of society and for that an expression of disgust may enter the brian. But eventually all works out fine, provided your balance of attitude remains constant ; calm, tolerant and exuding good will.....But nowadays changing love or feelings is as easy as a prepaid number...It can be changed anytime...
With that, I am counting my days here ....to come back to India...I want to see my house being constructed ...The terrace is being laid now....I am so excited....When I was leaving to Germany, all there was a broken tiled house...I had this dream of constructing a good house and see my mother walking around in that.....without a wrinkle on her forehead of rain drops hitting her head....and the house being blown away in the wind...her sleep too...And my father sitting and reading newspaper without any worries on his shoulders...I hope I am a good kid..I hope they are happy about me....And I want this dream to be complete atleast.......Though many of my dreams lie shattered in my mind like my tiled house there...Even the mess is so much in my mind...huge pile...I cant clean it anymore..So walking with that mess....the dump...in my mind...Though its heavy....
Last weekend was IPL weekend, where I spent the whole two evenings on IPL....Had taken internet connection broadband WLAN just for that sake and was happy watching them sopcasted onto my laptop...Though the sopcast was delayed by 2 mins from the livecast..But I wanted to watch Kumble...I wanted to watch Dravid....These are the iconic people every youngster should follow....The dignity..The dedication..The humbleness..The Target..The Grit...The Patience...The Result....Not Ranbir Kapoor or some MTV roadie.....I was just so excited about the Finals....Royal challengers almost making there,,,,Kumble taking 4 wickets..And the score restricted to 148 ....Everything was dream....but we lost it...We lost it....:( I could not believe...BUt Yet I am proud of Royal Challengers ..they really have put up show as a team....except for Robin Utthappa....He is just not playing cricket anymore....atleast he did not try...I am sad for that...
And 3 days went just like that.....I was waiting so eagerly for 27th of May....The big match of UEFA cup...Barcelona Versus Manchester United.....I am a big fan of Barcelona...Messi...Xavi...Iniesta...I was just going crazy....Everyone in europe are crazy, mad about football..They can leave their jobs, wife and kids for the sake of it....SO every restaurant was telecasting the same on a big screen and with a beer.....Hope If I was a drunkard..I would have watched a match drinking a beer in a bierGarten.....and the whole city was pumped up for the action..I can see a Ronaldo in each ones face and Messi in some others...I was even excited...I support Barca for a noble cause..They are the only team who does not have a sponsor and the money they earn shall go to UNICEF...I was watching with so much tension inspite of having high fever...and tears rolling out of my eyes due to the high temperature...The first goal by ETO D...and the second goal by Messi....It was soooooooper thrilling....After the match I was so convinced that Barcelona won the match....Had a superb sleep galloping one paracetamol......
Two days went just like that in the office..and The long weekend..We had holiday on June 1st..my birthday....Saturday was my shopping day..Where I loaded my wallet with 300 Euros and set on a mission..with people list in my pocket..There were 18 entries..So..My aim was to strike off each entry buying something for them....Bought some stone necklaces and ear rings to my sisters...Sweaters to my nieces..Jackets to my brother-in-laws....I was so tired on that day...And I bought a very cute pearl thing and a ring in that shop..Thats for someone special who is going to come in my life..I will keep for her...Advanced buying haah :)....
Sunday , we had been to Franken Stadion where there was a football match of NurenBerg..We did not get any tickets though...BUt looking at the people and the craziness...I was so awed...And late in the afternoon I just relaxed at home watching movies...'ITalian job', 'Enemy at the gates', 'Home Alone', 'Finding Nemo', 'Shrek'....And was missing my friends so much..So so much......because it was going to be my Bday next morning....Lasst year my friends had given me a surprise visit at around 11:45 and we had cut cake and celebrated my Bday ..may be first time in my lifetime....That was so special.....I was missing them a lot...And Monday, my friend Anand was the first person to wish me...Followed by Teja..Aravind, Harsha and Latha....Then I had called my parents, sisters....And I did not keep a step out of my room that day....cooked some junk food and ate it.....So it was a sad sad Bday.....The song which I was listening was and was apt for the moment..
Kyun Kisi Ko Vafaa Ke Badle Vafaa Nahin Milti
Kyun Kisi Ko Duaa Ke Badle Duaa Nahin Milti
Kyun Kisi Ko Khushi Ke Badle Khushi Nahin Milti
Ye Pyaar Mein Kyun Hotaa Hai ..Ye Pyaar Mein Kyun Hotaa hai
Kyun Kisi Ko Vafaa Ke Badle Vafaa Nahin Milti..
Ishq Kitnaa Rulaaye Saari Duniyaa Bhulaaye
Beqaraari Badaaye
Chain Ek Pal Na Aaye
Log Ishq Mein Kyaa Se Kyaa Hue
Mil Gaye Kabhi Phir Judaa Hue
Bas Khizaan Mili Is Bahaar Mein Umr Kat Rahi Intazaar Mein..
Kyun Kisi Ko Hansi Ke Badle Hansi Nahin Milti
Kyun Kisi Ko Vafaa Ke Badle Vafaa Nahin Milti
Ye Pal Kahin Thahraa..Nahin Yaadon Pe To Pahraa ..
Nahin Jab Davaa Se Bhi Zakhm Na Bhare ..Aise Haal Mein Socho Koi Kyaa Kare
Kyun Kisi Ko Khushi Ke Badle Khushi Nahin Milti
Kyun Kisi Ko Vafaa Ke Badle Vafaa Nahin Milti
Ye Pyaar Mein Kyun Hotaa Hai Ye Pyaar Mein Kyun Hotaa Hai
The special day had gone just like that....And it was too normal to me.....So June 1st had gone on a sad note...So one more year of struggle...Since I have cried on a birthday.....Its sad
“ People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. The confusion arises in the world when “people are used and things are loved”.
I am struggling a lot to finish off my assignment which I have to before I come to India..So going late to room...its Europe or Mars..we Indians are Indians...Going late to home is our routine....:)...
Waiting for this weekend to get over..The next weekend I will be in Shimoga....Hope nothing like the Air France accident happens...where 250 people will be flying over the vast Atlantic ocean and suddenly they vanish..Wrecks falling on to the ice cold water....phew!! :(
And as usual my one poem:
========================
Kanninna ghaajina mele iruva kanassugalella..
Chooru chooragi kanna chucchutiralu...
kanna haniyondhu kannige saanthwaana needuvanthe moodidhe...
Idhe kannina ghaajina mele iruvaa ninna pratibimbha.
kanna terevaa kshanadalella chandrananthe udayisi...
Adhara beladingalaaa belakinalli naa nadeyuthiddhe......
Kannadiyelli indhu moodidha nanna pratibimbave nanna aatmeeya..
naa aluvaaga thaanu nondhu atthu..
nanna kanna haniya jaadannu thaanu hididhu...
nanna appikondu nintidhe...
One more:
=========
There are sometimes when I don't want to see you
There are sometimes when I don't feel like talking to you
There are moments where I feel like choking you
After all those times you made me cry.
Because you made me suffer for a long time.
When all my wounds were healed, you had to
come and open them apart.
So thanks to you, I have a broken heart.
So please, stop coming along because next time
I'm going to rip you apart.
one more:
==========
Thu khudaa hai meraa, meraa imaan hai
ishq karnaa teraa mujhpe ehsaan hai
tu subah kaa ujaalaa mere vaaste
tu mere vaaste dilnashin shaam hai
tere dil mein Thikaanaa rahe umr bhar
phir kisi aashiyaane ki parvaah nahin
aye meri zindagi tu mere saath hai
Love,
Shashank
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Garmische...and miracles..
Hi,
I want to update my blog on the garmisch-partenkirchner tour and the last weekend stuff....Myself and Rajkumar had decided even though we are two in number. We shall go to garmisch-partenkirchner at any cost...Because my dream of swiss tour was shattered due to my Visa problems....hmmmmm...And I wanted to see atleast garmisch-partenkirchner...which is similar to Swiss ..The alps on the Germany side...And reach to the top of the peak 'Zugspitze'....The highest peak in entire Germany......I woke up at 3 AM on a saturday morning the 16th of May...It was raining so heavily that day...body was just unwilling to come with me...BUt my mind was all set to see its dream come true...I dragged my body into the bathroom..took bath and half sleepy....I was ready at 4:30 AM..Called Rajkumar and we both took a taxi and went off to Hauptbahnhof(CIty Railway Station) in the morning drizzling rain...We knew things are going to be bad if it rains in the same fashion in the entire south
Germany...at morning 4:50 AM...and no one to help in buying tickets ..We were stranded in that huge railway station....We wanted to buy a Bayern ticket which is 28 Euros and 5 persons can travel in the entire bavarian region for a day ...Though we were only two....
At the railway station we were just searching in the ticket vending machine..what option to press...where to go and all to buy the tickets..and all we had is 10 mins to get a ticket and rush to the platform....Then a man(may be 35-40 years old) who looks like Indian is standing and looks as if he is also confused........I immediately thought this is the right man to ask...So we approached him...He said...Sure he can help us..with his english accent more of German.....Immediately I got the impression he is not Indian.....He helped us in taking the ticket and revealed his nationality..He was a Pakisthani...How strange..There were no difference absolutely between
us...We all looked the same....But a pakisthani is a pakisthaani..isn't it?? SO the first thought was to go far from him....But coincidentally he was also going to Munich...and we all rushed to the platform and he came and sat to the seat next to ours....the rain had not shown any mercy and it was pouring...I had a constant tension what will be the situation in peaks if it rains like this....Pakisthaani (his name is Shamad)......Yes SHamad was telling..we all look the same..and we live the same fashion..how bad it is to live hating each other....All because of a border ..All because You are an Indian and I am a pakisthaani...he was an engineer from Karachi working with Siemens AG from past 10 years for their locomotives region(the speed trains).......He was praising ...How we people ( he referred always to Indians and Pakisthanis..thats a good thing haah) can adjust anywhere in this world...This sentence he has used minimum 50 times..and why these Americans and Europeans are finding it tough to beat the recession....I was convinced in that....And later on he was talking , America is responsible for all the terror...Its not Pakisthaanis or Talibans..I could see a pile of hatredness in his eyes..when he said that....He was also telling Taliban is young group of students who are fighting for the cause of Islam...I was scared..I was scared about his opinion and if people someone who understands english listen to our conversation and next stop we all will get trashed by police....But this guy was openly uttering those words..my mind stand divided about this ..... Islam, jehadi, pakisthan, freedom...I just kept my silence...He stopped after a while and again he started saying how we people can adjust anywhere in this world..And we are great....He said we are the most intelligent people in this
world....He also said, its quite obvious that Pakisthan supplied Nuclear technology to Iran...An Iranian cannot make a spoon on his own..How can he construct a nuclear missile....Its absolute bull shit...Its we, the Pakisthan supplied them the nucleartechnology.....I was awed by his open statement...The claim!! Yet my silence continued..He said his colleagues would ask him..Shamad! is your house destroyed in the war..Is your family safe there....is anyone wounded?? For that he would answer them..I live in Karachi which is south of Pakisthan and the war is being held
in the Northern Swat valley...they would get convinced...He also said they would ask these questions out of sympathy or curiosity...He compared Karachi to Mumbai..He said my Karachi is just like Mumbai...we watch all the bollywood movies the next day it released in India...full of young people....without any right direction....my only question was, are there many engineering colleges there just like in India....does poeple study engineering there.?? I mean the rage of IT, BPO is instilled on to the Pakisthaanis also?? He said a firm yes Yes yes else how would Pakisthan challenge the world..We have very good colleges and engineers coming out of it..THough we dont have a Bangalore he exclaimed.....hmmmmm:) ( I was feeling a bit proud about my bengaluru) with all these conversation and my mind getting the pictures of
beautiful Afghanisthan and Pakisthan(WHich I had run in Kite Runner)..how I wished everything in this world was good....How good if it was easier to get into a street of Afganisthan and eat a kebap....WIth all these thoughts..We had reached the outskirts of Munich....Shamad quickly exchanged our telephone numbers and invited us to his house for a coffee once he returns back on May29th.....He said finally that he has two beautiful kids (girls) and he has never taken
them to Karachi as they are in their teenage now and they understand things...When they were small he used to take them there and they would pose less questions..But now for some questions he would never know the answer...So better be here..SO he is travelling alone....We said we will surely visit his house in Nurenberg once he is back..with my mind still telling a complete no inside...I nodded my head and took photographs with him....bhai-bhai kinda of photo...:)..We reached Munich ..phew!! It was a great journey all the way......
From Munich we need to continue further to the south (Austrian Border) to reach garmisch-partenkirchner..We asked the Ticket Collector if this train goes to garmisch-partenkirchner continuing from munich..He had said a confident yes...SO being assured ..We were just waiting the train to start....But a miracle happened in my life..I was in a notion or disbelief that god is not there..But I saw god in one person that day..Train is about to start in 2 mins...One guy suddenly rushed onto the train and comes to us and asks us in German whether this train is going to
Nurenberg...We said Nai nai..this train is headed to garmisch-partenkirchner..He swears on god and tells us this is going to NurenBerg.WIthout thinking for the second time, we grabbed our bag and jumped off the train...door closes and we see the man who helped us right behind us showing the board which says(Munich to NurenBerg)...We would have gone back to NurenBerg again....In that heavy rain..no words to thank him....I felt like god is still there on this sick planet...I could not thank him enough...He was just smiling.....Laughing at our stupidity we went to Service point to enquire about the train we are supposed to take...We are standing in a long queue and one
railway officer comes directly to us in that long queue and asks us "Sir! can I help you?"....Am I living in a dream...am I on this planet...Yes the railway officer was real..and he is addressing me
Sir...garmisch-partenkirchner I said...He said , please sir take a left there and go to platform 30..YOu have a train at 7:36 from there..I had no words to thank anybody...It was my day rather our day filled with miracles...
We were in the bahn(train) to garmisch-partenkirchner...my compomised dream finally coming true...It was more than what I had dreamt ..Yes Europe is the most beautiful part of this world...I had no words to explain its sheer beauty...The snaps or photos cannot capture the feelings , the vibrance, the freshness of air, the tinge of air drops..It was amazing..I was living all my dreams there....where my creativity lost the match for that beauty....where I realised I knew only few words in this world...There is something above words like awesome, breath taking...The lush green hills invited us...with my mind catching up the tune of Tujhe Dekha tho ye jaana
sanam instantly and humming it through out the way....Imagining , dreaming If I had my love here..If I was with her....The same things which I had seen in that song, Greenery, spruce trees, snow capped mountains, clouds settled on the mountains..water streams(radium green color) flowing without the fear of getting polluted...showing all their beauty...Showing off their curves....It was totally amazing...It was a snapshot of lifetime and I would never forget....
After an hour of journey, we reached garmisch-partenkirchner..Dream accomplished!!!!!It was raining heavily and all the mountains covered with fog..I guessed nothing will be visible ....And the trip will be a waste....We took bahn ticket again to reach the top of the peak(its 42 Euros :()....The bahn goes upto 80% of the peak where you will witness the supreme technology of a railway system where literally a train goes on a peak....Else we can get down in between and go to hill top using a cable car....We thought we will go upto Eibsee(50% of the journey) in train and from there we shall go to the peak using cable car....We got down in Eibsee and the excitement pushed us to the cable car station where we swiped in the ticket and boarded .....It was am amazing experience ....god..I lived my life there...On my way I touched the heavens..I touched the sky....I could see snow capped mountains so close..The fog..The trees top barely visible...the fresh air and the cable car literally going straight into the clouds....At one point I could not see anything except the white clouds.We were so happy....after 20 mins journey to the top, we were at the Germanys highest peak - the zugspitze......It was an amazing journey to the top...I was waiting to go out to the view point and view the world from there and if possible ..shout a message or two which can be heard in India....But in vain..The entire peak was covered in fog..Nothing was visible except for Rajkumars face and for him mine...It was so cold..our hands got freezed and we rushed inside....We went down ..We were not sad becaue we had witnessed something great like that..Again took back the cable car down to Eibsee...WHere there was a dream lake..Full of Green water..vast huge surrounded by mountains..Was just like a post card picture...We went for boating in that and sighed an exclamation..A sigh of satisfaction....It was
complete...my dreams rejoicing itself of coming into reality....Once we were in the mid of lake..We see the whole sky clearing up and the view was fine tuned....Haah! Everything was clear..So we decided to go back to the peak again...Of course paying 42 Euros once more.....42 Euros for one way trip only...:(....Haah this one is again gods mercy again..I was just thinking if I had fallen from top also I would have not died on that day...Everything was going on our side....It was a miracle...On a rainy day..The clouds getting cleared...and the whole flora and the whole nature....had taken bath and washed itself to present to me..Great it was!!
The second time the peak was like heaven..I had seen nothing like that..Snow capped mountains..White white white everywhere....we had a nice lunch over there..The salad with strawberry and all..It was mouth watering...leaves with Yoghurt and all....It was great.!! The dream of walking on snow..The dream of throwing a snow ball on someone...The dream of seeing my foot prints..The dream of inhaling the fresh cold air onto my nostrils..The dream of seeing the vast blue sky sleeping on the snow...Everything was fulfilled except for the dream of holding someone there and sing a song...I am thankful to lord for that....I could see white clouds trying to kiss the alps ...rolling over them....and the sun being very cumulative..was just
dispersing the clouds ...As though he is jealous...Wind being on the Suns side....I was just capturing all these in my mind...
I was just awed by German technology where a train can take you to a peak ...The highest peak..salaam.namasthe...God...:(....Our trains cant take us on a normal road only....
I was so sad while coming back..The best was over..Again the same hotel.Again the same office..The same routine yeah!! :(...i wanted to live there..I wanted to live on the foothills of that..We came back to room at around 11 PM in the night...Slept the whole sunday 17th May...
Monday to Friday ..how days go..I am not able to count..time just flies away...It just
vanishes...night..morning..puliogre/chitranna/mosaranna/egg rice/..afternoon..again night..sambaar..rice...life is just so plain..and my dream of going to Swiss is still adhoora....chey!! Might be its written I shall come with my kajol there....might be thats the reason i was denied this time....
We had been to Langwasser Sud last weekend.It has a mini forest....we walked all around the forest....took some snaps...and came back...That was the only trip I had...I have got flu kind of thing since last friday..Have a fear ..may be Swine..have got few symptoms as well like slight body ache....cough and all...Assuming and praying it should be normal flu...There is a drastic weather change here..That might be the reason...Its 26 degrees and all...Sooper hot....Its so tough to sleep insided room without fan or AC....But this room does not have any fan or
AC....So its an oven kinda of thing....
I suggest everyone should watch 'Life is Beautiful' movie...Please go and watch it....Then we can understand whats life all about??...Its not about the salary hikes..Its not about the promotion..Status etc
Everyone has to die...Everyone has to embrace death not on their wish..But we struggle..we fight..a father fights for 2 acres of land with his brothers...for what...His two kids shall share the same in the future after a big fight...and even think which part of the land shall the fathers body be buried after his death...Mine or his...For what the father fought....for what the kids fought.....Bill gates,,..slum baala everyone will die...This is a saddist world....I feel we decorate our going to be dead body everyday....We dress ourselves neatly..we shave..we do all sort of things..The truth is one day it will be lying the grave yard...We have so many desires..We want to
love someone..we want to marry someone..Prove our partner is the best...prove we are the best...but for what?? to die one day....Saddist world...We sing ..we dance..we jump...for one day..to remain silent..to remain stationed...Why life cant be simple..??
And one happy news is , my ticket is confirmed for 11th June...Thursday.....God :)....15 days.....only 15 days...Counting it...
Ok my creation after many days:
=============================
Jinu jinugo male hani...
bhoomiya madilige chuccchi....
ola hokka horatanthe...
bhoomi odalalli iruva maarutha...
haniya ingisidhe..
Ingidha hani mathomme mugila seri..
modavaagi..male haniyaagi..
abbaradhi suridhu..
bhoomi odala sera horatidhe...
antheye..nee nanna preethiyanu..
aaviyagisidharu...
maleyaagi ninna odala naa
bandhu seradiddharu....
aa prayathna nannandhu...
This song I loved from Psycho, have become psycho listening to it continuously..:
===============================================================================
beladingalante minu minuguta
belakaagi bandiralu neenu
anuraga dalli hole holeyutha
nasu naachi ninthiralu neenu
marulade divya sakhi ninage, pranamaaa.
aparoopa rupasiye ninage, pranama.......
tangaliyante suli suli utha
aavarisee kondiralu neenu
kudi nota dalli nudi nudi uta
ee varisi nindhiralu neenu
man sothe mohithale ninage, pranamaaa
hitawadha snehitale ninage, pranamaaa.
Kansallu huccha nante, ningage oduve
mai marethu santhe yellu.. ninnanne kooguwe..
woragiralu ninna madilali..
kaagadadha doni yelli kadalannu daatuwe..
gandharva seeme alli uyaale jeekuwe ..
neen iralu nanna katheyali ,...
nan iruwe ninna jotheyali..(high pitch)..
beladingalante minu minuguta
belakaagi bandiralu neenu
anuraga dalli hole holeyutha
nasu naachi ninthiralu neenu
marulade divya sakhi ninage, pranamaaa.
aparoopa rupasiye ninage, pranama.......
Kannthumba ninna andha, savi yuttha koorale..
kannddidhu nijawe anta muttittu nodale........
neen iralu nanna tolali...
nanendu nodadantha belakondhu moodide ..
neenagashte kelu vanthe mansindhu hadide
kai iralu ninna kaiyali...
nan iruwe ninna balali(high pitch)...
beladingalante minu minuguta
belakaagi bandiralu neenu
anuraga dalli hole holeyutha
nasu naachi ninthiralu neenu
marulade divya sakhi ninage, pranamaaa.
aparoopa rupasiye ninage, pranama.......
After that huge mail..Everyone would have got pissed off...!! Sorry...
Some nice quotes as a compensation:
====================================
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid
of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could
be a right number.
13. No one ever says ‘It’s only a game.’ when their team is winning.
14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies
running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry
in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 50, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!!
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind, and the ones
who mind, don’t matter .
Photos link:
http://picasaweb.google.com/
Love,
Shashank
Friday, May 15, 2009
may 4th to May15th...
Hi ,
After a long time I am back!!!!!!! I have to write because few people watch this space so eagerly......I have lot to update.Lots to tell...This one week was so eventful.....I am really not finding time to blog nowadays......All the time I am busy with my work....after the Kongress Halle Visit..my routine has been coming to office and going back to home late in the night..Cook, eat and sleep...The team here is growing..Now there are so many Indians..We are majority in numbers now...Good to see so many Indians and feel at home...during the lunch hours and all...
Sad news!!! My stay might get extended for another 15 days...I am feeling so sick and sad..feeling like crying aloud....My Birthday I shall miss..What crap!!!!!!!!!!!??
Watched Barcelona versus Chelsea match ..And yes Chelsea lost to Barcelona in the semis in a match that can only be described by all as most unfortunate. Not for the loss, but for the way the loss happened. And no one disagrees, even the opposition that it was refereed in a despicable manner. Lots of people talking about the real reason behind this. Did not want two British teams in the final !! Just an outside observation. Not my personal… just in case.. he he....:). Waiting for that bing bang final on May 29th....When Barcelona meets Manchester united and I am just a great fan of Barcelona...Messi being my favorite player....
And on IPL side, nothing is going right for Kolkata Knight Riders...Shahrukh khans bad luck..I feel he should have never come to business...he was alright if he was simple and minded his business of acting alone.....I am criticising him being his hardest fan...I feel he is into stupid money making race...Starting from soaps to IPL....I am so happy that Bangalore Royal challengers have grown as a team...I can see some positive things happening...Might be Kumble effect....But good to see home team nourished with talent ...and good to be on winning side...Last IPL I was so sad about their performance........
Whenever I find time I come near the window and see the clear blue sky ...I can see 3-4 sky jets atleast in a single shot(due to proximity to Frankfurt) ......Leaving their own trail as they travel through the large air space....I feel I should catch any of those trail and go back to India...My mind is just like those empty large vast blue sky ....I have just stopped thinking too much about the future and wanting to live my life day by day......My daily objective being I should learn something new....I should be more productive and more resourceful........
Weather is not so nice here..Its raining continously here........Temperature being 12 degrees......
But we can see the nature at its best with all plants green and flowers bloomed to their maximum......
Now in our room we three guys cook together..So cooking is a lot more fun with everyone putting one one thing...and the product will be just ready..( I am referring food to product because we never know the outcome of the process).......I cook based on the observation I have made when my mom would be cooking..I might have seen somewhere my mom would be frying rava before making kharabath....so that simple frying makes the taste so different altogether...Sometimes observations helps a lot..isn't it?........
Guys!! 10th May was Mothers day..And I just called her and talked to her for 30 mins...She is as loving as ever...She always has so much love for me...So much to give...to care...So I feel mothers does not need a day to be celebrated....They should be celebrated everyday......She should be taken care of every moment........These are things easy to say...koyi bhi moo se kheer banathe hain..banake ke tho dekho........:) Because I have not done that.....I have given priority to things which did not give me anything in the end......I am always sad for that.....
Weekdays went just like that..Then there was this Weekend(9th, 10th may)...It was fun filled...We were a big gang..So never felt lonely and bored...So many things to talk..So many movies to watch...And Yes i had my hair cut done...It was an awesome experience to get ones hair cut on a foreign land .......It was morning 8:30 when i reached Angels Haar shop(salon)...It was so clean arranged with all sofas..chairs..with 4 most beautiful girls..And Yes they are girls who does the hair cut...They take each hair as if I have treasured it for years and cut them without hurting them(Was remembering Ravi chandran in Anjadha gandu - The way he cuts paddy)....She showed me a football players hair style and suggested I should go with it(In German)....I just nodded with half yes and complete no in my mind..For me the whole intension was to reduce the load on my head.........the huge pile of hairs...once the cut was over I was feeling so light.....haah got some new hair style...but soon it will vanish and my original style would overtake it....Whenever I see myself in mirror I look one one type on each day...Still If I close my eyes I cant picture my face ....Someday it looks fat..Someday it looks long...someday it looks nice..Someday it looks horrible....how is my face?? I dont know...I cant picturize it...Once the hair cut was done....Came back to room and went off to MarktKauf to shop weekly ration..ha ha :)..And Saturday we all went out strolling on the roads of NurnBerg seeing each hotel flocked with people....SUmmer special...People sitting everywhere and having beer...Boozing and having a nice time with their loved ones...Then we had softee ice cream on our way(strawberry flavor)....We came back to room around 8 o clock....The saturday was over...
Before and after hair cur - the Metamorphosis
--------------------------------------------------
Sunday I woke up so late and we cooked food...We had plans of going out for dinner...So we cooked less and finished offf everything,,,Then dozed off.....:)...Sunday evening we all went to DokuZentrum....Where there is a huge spree(lake).....We were 5 in number...We all hired a boat and I was on my toes to peddle it and jumped on to the driver seat....After peddling for half the way I realised I have done a mistake..Legs were aching like hell...:(...The lake was looking like a veg clear soup with green green algae growing healthily in every part of it....We took one big round and reached the banks..Phew !! Thank god...I wont peddle a boat now in near future.....:)...Then again We had softee icecream cone..This time I wanted to taste Yoghurt flavor(curds flavor yak!)..I tasted it.It was just like a thick curd which is kept in fridge for one week and being placed on a cone..It was not so good...From there we went to Thon..To a mexican restaurant called El Coyote(www.el-coyote.de)...Which is in the outskirts(Just like the dhabas in Bangalore)...It was drizzling, cold..With rain drops just managing to find a place on my face...winds tryint to push my wet hair..pitch dark...Just imagine..On such a evening, a mexican restaurant, candle light dinner, cold breeze, so many thoughts running in my mind...But I was missing something....Rather missing someone...my mind was singing its own song and was out of world for few moments........We had a blast eating cheese enchiladas and some tortillas ....It was great!! Few people boozed also...Totally it was a pleasant evening...We came back to room at around 11:30 in the night and dozed off...
Again the same hectic schedule..The same work...hectic life!!!!!!!! :) But to survive here we should have work..If its sittind idle and counting the days..i should directly get an airlift to Nimhans....Now time is running like a stray dog running out of BBMP corporation dog van.....(bad comparison) ...But still...
I should mention about the day of "Explosion and blood" Yes....Dont panic...It was on yesterday - Thursday (May 15th 2009)...I got up as usual at 6:30..took bath and started cooking...Kept rice and prepared puliogre gojju....and my other cooking partners told they will be late..So I was just mixing puliogre and rice and had kept water for boiling to prepare noodles....one of my cooking partner came at 7:30...I dont know what striked him to put chilly powder to boiling water while preparing noodles..He took the cover of chilly powder and kept on the hot heater in the kitchen which was pre-heated...there will be two heaters to cook...and he was taking back that cover to keep back in the cupboard....a cover without the base cannot defy gravity isn't it?? All the chilly was on his chappal, shirt, room mat and floor...And we cleaned it using white cloth....So while washing the cloth...The chilly was going like a blood mixed with water........that is about blood!!!!!!!! ::) and I should tell about explosion now....With no utensils left for my cooking...I wanted to boil few eggs...without thinking too much....I kept three eggs one for each in a glass tumbler and in oven(for 15 mins)...After 10 mins...All we could hear is dammar!#$@$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$...God..I thought something major happened...but one egg was rotten and it could not take the heat..it had exploded..and with the same cloth I cleaned oven...it was so painful.....finally the cloth was like a German flag..half red at the top(chilli powder) and half yellow at the bottom(rotten egg)...hee hee :)...........with all the circus...I was feeling I am seeing Final destination movie....where I have defied destiny for my death..nothing was going right yesterday.....but atleast puliogre was best...so happy for that.....
And one bad news is with my work permit I cant travel out of Germany...So no Swiss tour for me.....sad :(........or No austria tour.....So we have planned to visit alps atleast in Germany Garmisch........So will be travelling to Zugspitze the highest peak in Germany tomorrow early morning....atleast I can see snow there ..snowfall and cable cars and greenery and a lake...........thats perfect package.......
Now I have decided I should update regularly else blog will be a novel.....I shall update regularly from now on.........
My kavana:
==========
Ninna roopa adeshtu visthaara, gaaada..
Adha hege ee padhagalali naa Varnisali....
Dhina mugiyithu...Raathri bandithu..
Beladingalaa chendira modavaa chumbisidhe.....
kaggatheleya raathri munjaneya kiranava chumbisalu horatidhe...
Suryana belakalli hudukidhe..
Deepadha mandha kaanthiyelli hudukidhe......
padhagala koshavenella odaadi bandhe........
manadha putavenalla tiruve muruvu maadidhe..
vichalithagonde..padhagale illadhe..
Ninna roopave ee lokakkondhu varavanthe..
bhoomi adhara shakthi meeri ninna roopava hididhu ninthanthe...
Ninna roopa prathi usiraatadhi toridhe immadiyadanthe..
nanna kalpaneyaa metti ninthanthe..
nanna olagina kavi sattanthe........
Ninna holupu lavanya soorya shakthi ya meeri ninthu..
Ninna nerala neene rachisikondu..
Ninna roopava saala kelalu janaraa hindu hindu..
avarellarigu ellidhe aa ninna roopadha sogadu....
Ninnindha dhooraagi mana nondidhe..
Virahadalli bendidhe....nann jeevava kondidhe..
nouke yali..vimaanadhalli..gaaliyelli..terege bauyutiriva alegalalli..
baanagaladalli..beladingalali....samudhradha suliyalli...
modadalli karagi..haniyaagi...
naa ninna bandhu seruve.........
Nee nanna raathriya thaare..
Nee nanna aakaashadha neeli banna..
Nee nanna samudhradha neeru...
Neene Bhaala dhaariya belaku...
Nee nanna kannalliruva holepu..
Nee nanna kesha raashiya naduvalli suliyuva gaali..
Nee nanna hrudaya baditha..
Nee nanna manadha ghaana..
Nee nanna praana....
Nee nanna yedhe badithadha swara nudisuva Veene..
Nee nanna bhaala taranga..
Nee Nanna kaavya sudhe..
Nee Nanna bhaavane..
Nee nanna madhura yaathane..
Nee nanna tyaaga..
Nee nanna mouna raaga..
Nee nanna anuraaga..
Nee nanna kalaravaa..
Nee nanna sangeetha..
Nee nanna jananaa..
Nee nanna marana..
Nee nanna male hani..
Nee nanna kambani...
Nanna preethige jeeva needidha janani...
Nee nanna preethi..
Naa baaluva reethi..
Nee nanna chumbana...
Nee nanna bandhanaa...
Neene neenu prathi kshana..nanna prathi usiru...
Naa noduvaa prathiyalli ninnanne noduvaa aasey..
Naanu neenaagi ninnolage madiyuva aasey....
Ninna haadige raagavaagi..
Ninna bhaalige kannaagi..
Ninna kannina reppegalaaagi...
Ninna kesha raashiya mungurilina anchaagi ninna chumbisuttha bhaaluva aasey..
Ninna tutigala anchalli ninna maataagi madiyuva aasey..
Ninna tutiya jenina sihiyaa bhaalalli kaanuva aasey...
Ninna kannu noduva notagalella naanaguva aasey...
Ninna mana beduvaa aaseygalella naaguva aasey..
Ninna prathi hrudaya badithava kaddhu iduva aasey..
Ending with some nice quote:
===============================
Har khushi Hai Logon Ke Daman Mein,
Par Ek Hansi Ke Liye Waqt Nahi.
Din Raat Daudti Duniya Mein,
Zindagi Ke Liye Hi Waqt Nahi.
You dont allow your life to be like this.........Work to live..Dont live to work...Spread love..Be caring..Life is so beautiful....Enjoy it every moment :) Jiyo!! muskurao!! kush raho!!..Kya patha kal ho na ho...:)
As usual.
Loads of love,
shashank
Monday, May 4, 2009
kongress Halle and the long weekend...
Hi All,
It was three day long weekend....Nothing significant happened in my life...Life has been the same.....
My playlist through out the weekend was:
1. HoovinaBaanadante - from movie birugaali....I love that initial aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...Shreya Goshal
is the best. Love this song.
2. Nuvvu Nuvvu from Khadgam...Telugu....I love this song for richness in lyrics and the meaning
of each word makes me go crazy.
3. Main shaayar tho nahin...
4. Songs from kannada movie Raj and joshhh!!! Was trying to analyse the songs and love any of
them....Liked two or three...thats it.
Movies Watched:
1. Indiana jones - Crystal skulls.
2. Alien Vs Predator - part 3.
3. American Gangster
They said that a black man would be President “ when pigs fly”.......But May 2nd embarked the 100th day of Obama’s Presidency …...Anything is possible in this world...Yes!! One need to wait for the opportunities with patience....If one gets it late..then they would get something big...His 100th day was covered quite well in the media..Got bored of hearing the same words, 'Obama', 'Global melt down', economic downturn', 'Road to recovery', 'Swine Flu''G20 Summit' blah blah. The same thing. Nothing exciting on the news channel like the sick Indian news channel like ' Kareena shahid splits', 'Rakhi goes on Swayamvar', 'Is Sherlyn Sexier than Rakhi?', 'Priyanka the new bollywood queen', 'Bebo Saif on a personal tour','Something cookin between Shahid and Priyanka after Kaminey'...What an exciting media isn't it?? ..Missing that stupid things....I used to see how far people can go in stupidity...I have noticed one more thing when the new movie getting released, actors move around together and make a way for gossiping..Example harman priyanka during love story 2050...Shahid Kareena - jab we met(Split), VIdhya Balan and Shahid(kismet connection)....And people are so dumb to be fooled again and again..Now priyanka and shahid are going together for Kaminay...Its all publicity gimic...boss..
Of all the boring tags in these news channels, Swine flu is something important..Its being covered and hyped so much. I still am confused whether its dangerous or not. Some say its alarmingly dangerous. Some say it can be cured with Tamiflu...But a tinge of fear is being put on to the life system...If anyone sneezes out of cold also, swine will be associated with it (h1N1 virus)....Crazzy! world..But it might come to anyone or anytime....Globalization haah of even viruses and diseases...But fate is already written I believe. If someone has to die of a H1N1 virus, it shall happen...
As usual the long weekend was boring...Friday got fried at house...Was scared to go out as it was May day and I knew there would be so many protests on the road with unemployment rate increasing to 4.6% in Germany...20% in Spain....But Was so lazy to cook anything...So we decided to buy food from Mac-D....When we stepped on to road itself..Things were so scary...Polizei (Police) van everywhere....We were almost near Mac-D..We saw blood stains on the
footpath...heart beat increasing..Blood pressure going up....Anxiety all over...Then we saw a huge procession of people all wearing black masks and dress..WIth piercings almost every part of the body..There was no space left..So things were looking pretty dangerous with people arresting few people right in front of us...But somehow we sneaked in through to Mac-D....Ordered a burger
and finger chips.....It was after so many days....Reckoning my memories of Baghmane Tech Park..Where I used to go...It was the best time of my life...As usual the vendor there was a beautiful lady..She was more welcoming and charming....We came to room very swiftly(turning 360 degrees all the time)...ate like hell..and slept off....Evening had called my Karkala Aunty....(She is not my aunty by any relation) but she took care of me so much when I was studying my Engineering there....She showed love nothing short of a mothers love..she is still a bachelorite...She is 65 years old...why she did not marry is a question I wanted to ask her n times..But out of respect I could never ask her....She knows every thick and thin of my life...How I used to study during my Engineering days....In what Situation I was in....100 Rs for last 10 days...Those days made me very hard...when 5 rs was nothing but a one time food for me..that taught me to give less priority to money and more value to relation.....She even used to cook food for me(thove with rice)..Give coffee...help me in every way she could..yes few people are there in my life through whom I have seen god and felt the halo of him....They have showed so much love to them...I owe my life to them....It was such an exciting thing to tell that I am in Germany...She was very happy for me...And I felt so happy talking to her...I am grateful to her all the time...And want to pay back my gratitude sometime....Friday night cooked dal and rice..Ate like hell and slept off........
Saturday - the shopping day....Yes Saturday is meant for shoppinig here...We as usual went to MarktHauf..This time I shopped SOya milk, fruits, Orange juice and everything...We came back to room, kept the stuff and we headed for Norma...We buy rice from there...Carrying 8 Kgs of rice and roamed around a abit in that mall..We reached our room by 2 Noon...Then we cooked rasam..Ate rice with that and slept off...Evening I was so tired I did not go out anywhere.....I
was just relaxing at home...Saturday late evening went to reception and bought two DVDs Indiana Jones and Alien Vs Predator....Indiana Jones was too good as usual....I love that movie....Harrision Fords character and his acting...Amazing actor he is...Then Alien V/s Predator was aweful..yakh...!!! It was a mixture of green and blue solutions throughout....Green for Aliens blood...I slept at around 1:30 in the night....
Sunday woke up late at around 9 AM.....We had bread jam for breakfast.....Because we had mega plans for the afternoon....And we went to KongressHalle...by the way NurnBerg is so important in history of Germany..They say its the Germanish part of Germany......Kongress Halle is Hitlers party rally grounds..Where he used to address the rallies....He wanted a structure like VIshana Soudha...Kongress Halle is such kind of thing..An administrative office for National Socialist Party.....But he died when it was half built..So the Germans wanting to forget him has kept this structures alive....but each brick there was telling the cruelty of the person called hitler...how bad he was...Killing innocent people only because they were not useful to the society..They were not
productive....I could not believe that...If the same is being done in India...then almost 80% of population is gone...In the Kongress Halle, we were given audio trainer(a handset kind of thing) which used to start automatically on the press of a button and guide us through the building...It was a new thing...But it was quite informative..Anf after coming out of Kongress halle I was shaken and mixed up with what Germany was...what it is and all...revisiting past...bloody past...With so many stories running in my mind..about the Nazis..about the Germans...About Hitler....sadly photos have not come great...Dont know why......But still they will be uploaded and link be given......Came back to room..We decided to cook something great..So we cooked
poori and aloo sabzee....we had ice cream and the lunch was amazing..........It was too good......Dozed off...
Evening woke up...was watching match between Bangalore and Mumbai Indians...Bangalore won the match by 9 wickets..I was so happy...Finally Uthappa got into some form atleast....RC registered one more win....I am happy for the two great people I ever know..Kumble and Dravid...Thats great..on the football side as well Liverpool and Manchester united registered a win....So it was a satisfying day on the sports arena.....
Returned the dvds and got two more dvds..This time..American Gangster and Rambo....American Gangster I wanted to watch it from so many days....Loved each dialog of that movie...It has my two favorite stars of hollywood..Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe... Had food while watching movie .....Dozed off..
Noticed one funny thing during the elections this time...All stars showcased they have voted by raising their middle finger which means altogether a different thing....And they were all smiling doing that...Funny it looks...:)..More Funny was bacchans family .........
haah with one creation:
============================
Sangeethakkadharo alpa praana, maha praana..
kavigaligaadhro saaviraaru padhagalu...
haada rachisidhiru..kavana va baredharu...
nanna usiratakke gothiruvudhu ninnadondhe savi gaana..
haadu bareya hodhare...saalu saalu ninnadhe naama..
Padhagalige korathe...manasse ondhu santhe..
hege bareyali ninagondhu haada kanthe...
malagidha kalla mele arive ogedha agasaa..
biddha kalla eddhu nillisi pooje maadidha brahmana..
nintha kalla ketthi roopugolisidha aa shilpi...
honna ketthi aabharana va maadidha vishwa karma...
kote katti raajavadidha kshatriya...
heegondhu beleyithu jaathi..paathi..
Ninna pooje maaduvudondhe nanna kelasaa..
Ninna nenapugala arive ogeyuvudhe nanaa havyaasa..
Ninna roopava hrudaya mele ketthuvudhe nanna bhaasa..
Ninna tolugala balasuvudhe nanage aabharana...
Preethiya kote katti ninna rajavaaduvudhe nanna badukina kaarana..
Nannadhu yaava jaathi..naanyaru...
Ninna roopa lavanyavu swargakke visthaara..
Beledhu hemmaravaagi nintidhe niranthara..
Aa modadha neralalu..
nee lokava belakaagi nintihe...
Neenondhu sada maaguthiruva hannu..
Ninna roopa nodiye brahma Karedhana hennu..
Ending with this thought:
” I am not afraid of a man who knows of a thousand types of kicks, but I am afraid of the one who has practiced one kick a thousand times. “
- Bruce Lee
I believe in the following statement very much and that has been the principle of my life.....People can be happy when they stop comparing themselves with others..Its you who can excel..Its you who has to live your life...Constant comparison is what I dont like in my life...and one more thing I urge to follow is "Expectations reduce joy".....Joy comes when things happen when u have least expected..........So follow theseis rule and enjoy a life of harmony and
love..
” You can win life by all means.. yes… by simply avoiding two things… comparing and … expecting “
" Every one has a destiny to find,
looking in your eyes I have found mine.
You're all I ever wanted,
you're all I'll ever need.
I will be yours always,
you will have my love for eternity......"
Missing you all..Counting my days ...May 31st.....go
Love,
Shashank
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Bouquet of thoughts.......
Hi,
Smitten by this Beyonce song...Halo......
Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo...
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light
I swore I’d never fall again
But this don’t even feel like falling
Gravity can’t forget
So pull me to the ground again
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo...
Love this song....Its good to listen.......running on my playlist now....
Last evening was bad...had a mood off...Though was very excited for the match between Arsenal and Manchester united...MAN U won the match 1-0..It was such a boring match though...Mumbai indians lost the IPL match against Punjab Lions:( .....Thats the sad thing ....Had an intension to cook Aalu samber and green peas with Garam masala.. I love it with dosa..but I wanted to cook such a kind of thing...So tried it..Finally I was 80% successful in Alu-peas masalaa..it was great with garam masala and all....So myself and nagaraju ate like hell.......I dont know the reason..One thing I have noticed..Since the day I have come here I have never slept properly...In the sense I wake up sometimes in the mid night..Sometimes at 4 AM..I just dont know what to do....In Bangalore my sleep was a switch...switch of/on....I used to sleep at 10:30 PM and wake up at 6:15 AM...Especially last night was too long for me...So many thoughts...hitting my mind ..striking it..Tried listening to music..watched TV.....But no sleep at all....Eyes were so fresh....So thought of framing these things...thoughts scattered in my mind.....I tag almost everything with love....So most of my things will be on love..Thoughts are like scattered light white clouds..which needs to be condensed, gathered to form some meaningful thing like the below one....And fall like a rainfall....I hope these words shall drench the reader....and make the mind fresh....and fill life with love....
Was watching Andaz apna apna...Its the most hillarious movie I have ever seen..And this time it was for 100 th time I was watching...Aila Juhi Chawla...Amazing movie....Aamir at his comedy best.....I always feel, Juhi chawla in the first scene looks like a boy with a wig when she will be repairing her car bending....Might be I was trying to laugh a bit by watching movie....It was like a painkiller for a wound..The laugh and smile just ended with each scene...Again my mind would be sad....Filled with thoughts....
It is raining from past few days here....Weather is so good...9 degrees....Cloudy, gloomy, wind with a tinge of cold in it......Truly romantic weather...mausam ye awesome bada....:).....And the weather forecast says it will be like this till sunday....Still planning about the Austria trip...with
excitement....
Work is too much...Need to finish off things soon and come back to India..Thats the whole intension....Lets see how it goes...And I am booked for 215 man hours...So really need to finish off things swiftly...
Paid hotel rent of 1340 Euros for one more month...So till May20th I am safe here....I just dont know I give least priority to money...I never bother about it....I did not had pin..I did not know how to check balance..I dont want to get jumbled in that finance thing....So the girl who is yet to come should have atleast this quality......managing money matters..I am still like a kid..Who will be happy if he is given enough money to eat pani puri on road side and bus fare...I like it that way...No macro management...but god does not want to relieve me of this.. By posing biggest challenges...starting from education loan to house loan...So finding it hard to manage money..I hate money....
Hairs have grown crazily long...Falling onto my eyes..I have to get it cut....Thats my weekend plans....Waiting to embrace the long weekend....3 days..sick..!!!!!!!!! I am missing my friends Anupamas marriage, karthik shimoga marriage...trip with my friends..and everyone...God...Sick thing...Missing them a lot lot and lot............And my best wishes are always there for them..
Love is a gift of one's innermost soul to another so both can be whole........This statement captured my attention...Isn't it?? we give everything to the person we love...yes the soul itself....In the sense.we never live our life once we start loving...Its about the other person...
The pain I am feeling....
=========================
I see you staring at me,
but you never truly see,.........
why I love you, oh, so much,
when you're so out of touch...........
Feelings that we could have shared,
you flung behind without a care.
It seems so hard to let you go,
and the process is so slow.
I don't know whether I should stay,
and waste another day away.
I do know, though, that all this pain,
will soon drive me insane.
You don't feel me loving you,
and you just can't seem to get a clue.
You don't see me cry inside,
and in you I know I can't confide.
Yet still I find that you are blind,
to things meant to be kind.
You know nothing of my fears,
and are unaware of all my tears.
I know I really can't deny,
things I feel as I look you in the eye.
So who will help me make it though?
Who will tell me what to do?
How come every time I see your face,
for me there's never any space?
Maybe someday you'll see me differently,
so until then, I'll be waiting silently.
One more from the pages of life:
======================================
At first we loved, but not again.
We met on our way,
and we talked ever since.
We stood staring at each other,
I wondered the time, we would...
Stand together. Holding hands on a lake side...
as we walk down the street,...
I wondered when our lips Would meet....
My heart is broken, u seem to ignore,
The pain I have, when u left me sore.
Our love was strong In which now your heart is blind to see,
now I feel that your love has forgotten completely about me.
Well all in all I'm heartbroken Without u by my side,
I wish we could love each other like we did that one time. ..............
You and I were the greatest thing
Laughter and smiles is what we would bring..........
We would talk on the phone, until it was time for bed
Even then I would see you, in my dreams, inside my head......
Every time I saw you, I would always smile
You could see a glow in my eyes from miles and miles
God!!!!, I wish I was still holding onto you
But you gotta man now, so what can I do?
Now when I see you, there's always a frown
Won't you please turn that sad frown upside down?
If you're not happy with this person, then just say goodbye
Because seeing you depressed, brings tears to my eyes
Today I approached you, but you didn't say a word
I still have feelings for you, haven't you heard?
I miss seeing you smile and laugh
Won't you please remember the fun we had?
Holding hands eating lunch
Wow! I miss you a whole bunch
Just ask my family and my friends, you were all I talked about
Now all I do is to never take the topic about...
I love hearing your voice; it brings a smile to my face
It's a sound that I shall always embrace
I had no idea I actually felt this way
Please tell me, why does it feel like you're pushing me away?
The reason we broke up, I don't even know why
Just thinking about you now makes me want to cry
Enough about him, he makes me sick
I miss you way more than just a little bit
I need to toughen up; I know we'll always be apart
That is the reason why right now, I have a broken heart
Signing off with these thoughts..........may god bless you all..Give life filles with love...
"One cannot discover new oceans, unless one has courage to lose sight of the shore"
” If people start criticizing you, hurting you, shouting at you.. don’t be bothered. Because in any game, spectators make noise, not the player. So just play on !”
” There are only two people who can tell the truth about yourself.. a friend who has lost his temper, or an enemy who starts loving you.”
We being the sincere workers..Happy Workers day...May 1st...........
Have a nice long weekend guys...
Loads of love,
Shashank
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